Volunteering for Children with Hearing Loss

By Dr. Schorr
In adolescence, encouraging independence, parenting, social and emotional development, volunteering
15/07/11 at 02:24
0 Comments

Volunteering: A Win for Everyone

Gabriel’s teacher called his parents in for a meeting. Mr. Michaels was concerned that Gabriel was starting to view himself as a victim. He explained to Gabriel’s parents that recently, when challenges came up in class, Gabriel would sigh and mutter that “its too hard for a kid with hearing loss anyway, what is the use in trying.” This attitude worried Mr. Michaels and he wanted to see what he and Gabriel’s parents could do to address this worrisome development. Gabriel was the only child with hearing loss and cochlear implants in the school, but he was doing well academically. He had some trouble navigating the social world of the 7^th grade classroom, as many kids do when the social dynamics become more complex and bewildering.

Mr. Michaels had a suggestion. He had seen research about children who feel vulnerable changing how they perceive themselves when THEY are the leaders, the active participants in the situation. Mr. Michaels had a neighbor, Joey, who was 4 years old and had only recently gotten a hearing aid in his right ear. He was diagnosed with a unilateral hearing loss a couple of months ago and had a significant speech delay. Gabriel could volunteer to play with Joey once a week after school. They could play together, and talk and listen. Only in this situation Gabriel would be the competent one, the teacher, the “big brother.” They played every Wednesday afternoon throughout the rest of the school year. Gabriel would teach Joey words and games and realized how much he knew and how able he was. Both boys got so much out of it – and Mr. Michaels now recommends volunteering for every child in his 7^th grade class. Here is why:

Middle school is a time of instability for children. In the years of early adolescence, ages 11 to 14, kids explore their own sense of self; they try to understand who they are. Their ability to reason and think as well as understand the feelings and perspectives of others affect their own ideas of who they are and where they stand among their peers. Having a social interaction and responsibility outside of the world of middle schoolers can be so healthy for children struggling to fit in (and all kids at this stage are struggling to fit in).

Responsibility gives children a sense of meaning and purpose. Viktor Frankl, a psychologist who studied how people survive traumatic and chaotic experiences, found that the search for meaning drives people on. He found that people who have something to live for, some source of meaning in their lives can endure unthinkable conditions. I would venture to say: even the social jungle of middle school. If a child has someone who counts on them, looks up to them and needs them – that can be a vital and necessary source of meaning in a middle schooler’s life. Everyone needs to be needed.

The student gets to become the teacher! Gabriel had been the student in school and the student in speech therapy sessions since he was still in diapers. Now, he was the expert, the one who knew how to say the word, how to fix the toy, how to play the game. He cheered for Joey when Joey picked up new words that they had used together. Gabriel felt a fantastic sense of accomplishment whenever Joey learned something new. Gabriel started to think about himself differently now. He saw how Joey looked up to him and felt more confident and optimistic.

Exposure to other people with hearing loss can help put things in perspective. Joey was having trouble adjusting to his hearing aid. But seeing Gabriel with two made Joey ask his parents for a second hearing aid to look like Gabriel! Joey’s parents also felt a sense of relief – they were so worried about how Joey’s delays would hurt him in the long-term. It was very reassuring to see a big kid, talking clearly, going to school, being independent and seeming normal! Gabriel, at the same time, realized how far his speech and language skills had come. His parents told him about when he was Joey’s age, but for Gabriel, he stood up taller and felt better about his hearing loss, realizing now how well he was doing.

The younger child has a valuable language model. Parents and speech therapists will not be able to convey the same message, the same way as an 11 year old boy, sitting on the floor next to you, showing you how to build a rocket out of lego. Enabling young children with hearing loss to have multiple and diverse models of language is wonderful for them. An older child serves as a role model who is “within reach” for the younger child.

Helping others makes people feel good about themselves. This idea is not specific to children with hearing loss. But it is true: helping another person gives us a good feeling about ourselves. Every child needs a good reason to feel about him or herself.