Imagine Speaking Greek: Why I Don’t Think Sign Language Helps Most Children with Hearing Loss
Imagine: you and your spouse have given birth to the most beautiful baby girl. She is perfect, with 10 tiny fingers and 10 tiny toes and a little dimple on her chin – just like her dad. Everything went smoothly and as you prepare to leave the hospital and take your baby home, there is a knock on your hospital door.
“Mrs. and Mr. Jonas?”
“Yes, you can come in”
“Hello. I need to let you know that this new baby looks like all the other babies but has a special need. She needs to be spoken to in Greek and learn to speak Greek. Thank you for understanding.”
Well, these young and eager parents were flabbergasted. They didn’t know a word of Greek; they did not know anyone who spoke Greek. They had already bought baby board books of their favorite childhood stories. They had already thought of all of their favorite childhood nursery rhymes and lullabies which they had planned to sing to their newborn baby. But they were dedicated and loving parents so they were determined to do what needed to be done.
Mom quickly made arrangements with her boss to scale down to part-time with some flex-hours added on weekends. She found an intensive Greek course and brought baby along in the carrier, where she slept peacefully most of the time. Dad signed up for Greek lessons at the local Y on Saturdays. Mom and Dad called their parents and siblings, who listened sympathetically, but were not sure what to do. They didn’t know a word of Greek, and most of them felt that they were either too busy or too old to learn a new language.
Mom made some progress, although she never knew if her Greek sounded right, since she had no one to speak Greek with. There was another problem: big brother Ben spoke only English, and Mom and Dad and Ben all spoke English with one another. Mom tried to speak Greek with Ben, so that he could learn to communicate with the new baby, but he resented all of the attention she got and wanted things to stay the way they were before the baby was born. Ben had no interest in a new language, he spoke English very well.
Now look ahead: this child grows up a bit, and at family events, holidays, and celebrations, she has no common language with her family. Every Thanksgiving all of the cousins play games and she can’t really understand what they are saying. Her father loves her dearly, but does not feel confident speaking Greek, so he uses his wife as a go-between. He hates to admit it, since it is painful to him, but he’d rather spend time with Ben, with whom he can communicate effortlessly. Ben likes his sister and would like to play wit her, but she never understands the rules of the games he makes up or the plans to make carnivals and parades and puppet shows. The neighborhood children all play together and there are block parties and holiday parties – but this child cannot talk with the neighbors. While everyone in her life had the best of intentions, this child is a stranger in her own family and in her own neighborhood. She remains completely dependent on her mother to translate for every other person in her life.
Back to reality: I got an email from a mother/professional complaining about the lack of information about sign language on my website. She thought that it is a good foundation for children with cochlear implants and can be used together with speech. She didn’t say this specifically – but I think was disappointed at my not considering and presenting all of the options. I’d like to explain why I don’t think sign language is a good option for children with hearing loss born into hearing families:
I was raised in the 80s in the Washington, DC area, in an environment of understanding and appreciating the differences between people. I grew up in the shadows of Gallaudet University. I had always thought that there were two sides to every story, that you are ok, I am okay. There is not much black-and-white, we all need to choose what is best for us.
But when I found myself raising a newborn infant with hearing loss – I realized that the most important thing in the world to me was that he be able to be a full, equal member of his family, community, and world. I wanted to read books together, be able to discuss the mysteries of life and talk about all of the little things that make life interesting. I wanted to be able to talk about feelings and develop a relationship with open, easy communication. I wanted him to be able to have long conversations with his grandparents and great-grandparents, so he could learn from their expertise and wisdom about life. I wanted him to be able to play with his cousins and neighbors. He needed to learn my mother tongue if he was going to learn his mother’s tongue.
I am aware of how difficult it is to teach a child with hearing loss to speak and understand oral language. But I think that it is much harder to teach a child a language that his parents don’t already speak. For children with hearing loss, who are born into families with normal hearing, I think that teaching sign language is a distraction from that hard work of teaching spoken language. It does not facilitate helping that child integrate into his family, community, or world. Deaf families, with many signing family members, have different considerations. But the overwhelming majority of children with hearing loss are born into hearing and speaking families. And I do not believe that, for most of them, learning sign language ultimately serves their best interests.
With a fluent spoken first language, children can develop healthy and full relationships with all of their family members. They can develop friendships with neighbors and school peers; go to any summer camp or extra-curricular activity that they want, independently. They can go to whatever school best suits their learning needs and interests.
So to that person, and to all of my readers: I do try, and will continue to try, very hard, to understand the unique perspective of every individual person and family. I do believe that there are many different ways to raise a child. But nonetheless, all ways do not produce the same outcome. For every child: the better his/her speech and language skills in her native environment, the better off she will be emotionally, socially, cognitively, and academically. For children with hearing loss, there is so much more work to be done to get there, but that is not a good enough reason, to give up and instead teach your child Greek.
With warmest regards to Greek speakers all over the world!
Tags: brothers and sisters, children, deaf, diagnosis, grandparents, hearing loss, Language, outlook on life, parenting, participating in family events, siblings, sign language, social and emotional development, talking to your child
I am a native Greek speaker , and also an deaf girl with CI ( left ear )
Never learnt sign , I do know few signs I learned recently but I don’t use them much.
I do agree with your take on sign language , and also , every family is different.You could though have used a ‘different’ name for the language , even a made up , but I do see your point
I absolutely love this.
My deaf child (who listens with CI’s and now has age appropriate speech and language) has two hearing siblings. When he was born, I was honestly horrified at the thought that he wouldn’t be able to speak the same language as his brother and sister.
I was raised in a verbal only household (I’m born profound near severe deaf). I have 2 brother and 2 sisters. We all speak and I have a big family outside that
And they still speak greek to me. I don’t talk to them much and this is not because of sign language because I never knew sign languages. BEcause it is too much effort to have a simple little conversation. You need to understand why people include sign language before you make opinion like that.
I think that I do understand why people choose sign language, but that doesn’t make it the right choice for a baby born today in 2010. Today, with cochlear implants, digital hearing aids, and good speech therapy, most infants can develop spoken language skills so that it will not be too hard to have a simple conversation with them.
Great article. I agree. I was born deaf and was taught to lipread. I have endured a family for 40 years that won’t communicate with me in the same way as they do with each other, if they bother to communicate with me at all. They just talk to me as if I am slow. It’s very hard being isolated within a family and community like this. If I had learned sign language instead, I would have been worse off, and would not have been able to talk to anyone at all (I met a sign language user for the first time just 5 years ago). Now I can sign, but I never use it….. as no one around me signs. If I had many signing friends and a signing community to be a part of, then perhaps signing would have been useful. But the battle to progress in the hearing world would have been much harder. I got a cochlear implant 7 months ago and it’s fantastic. I’ve got a new lease of life. I am so thankful that I learned to lipread, it certainly made my integration into the hearing world that much easier. I have one friend who signs and does not lipread – I have seen how he really struggles in situations where I cope quite well. Yes, it can be easier for a deaf person to communicate in sign language but I think potential sign language users need to consider that this is a HEARING world, and examine how they might integrate into it. Not everyone is able or willing to provide for a signer’s needs.
I graduated in 1996.. with digital hearing aids. So it does still apply to this day.
I wore hearing aids since I was 3 years old too.
I still think you need to do more research why people choose Sign language. It is about giving them a language in case hearing aids/CI don’t work out for them.
I think you are missing a point. The real comparison is between speaking Greek with your child NOW vs. speaking English with your child in several years. Sign is accessible to a Deaf child NOW, and can be used to facilitate acquisition of English skills.
Even today, hearing aids or CI can take several months to several years to never to make spoken language directly accessible to a Deaf child. Sign is immediately accessible.
Look at all the families of Hearing children who are using Baby SIgns with their infants because they believe the studies that show that Baby Signs accelerate the infant’s cognitive development.
BTW, the “Hearing world” comment exactly echoes the various “White Man’s world/Man’s world” comments from previous generations. Women and racial minorities did not put up with that attitude then and Deaf people should not put up with the attitude now.
David
For me the goal in raising both my children, one is deaf – the other is hearing, is to raise them with the best self-esteem (not the best voice). I find no need to change my son, just accept him and celebrate him as he is. We sign – he is fully included in all family events and his community and leads a full and very rich life. He may be different (but he isnt broken), but he doesnt need to be fixed or altered to be like me, his sister or his dad in regards to hearing and speaking. It totally depends on the message you give a child – the message we have always given him is that he is PERFECT the way he was born, he has a great family, a loving community, a vibrant culture.
Great article. I have a 9 yr. old son who wears bilateral CI’s. The thought of signing with him never came to mind when he was diagnosed at 8 mths. of age. We are so fortunate to live at a time where the advances in technology have enabled deaf children to hear. Why would I not want to take advantage of what is available and give him the gift of hearing. Staying in line with your foreign language analogy…..suppose I chose to adopt a beautiful 2 yr. old child from China…would I make my entire family learn Chinese or would I want to teach my child the language that will be used everyday in the world that he/she lives in . I’m really not sure why there has been (and still is) so much controversy over this decision. Giving the gift of hearing has absolutely nothing to do with whether you “accept” your child or think he/she is “normal”.
Thank you so much for a wonderful and well written article. You have articulated a concept that I have been struggling to articulate myself when I try to explain to others why we have chosen to not sign with our hearing aid wearing 14 month old son with severe to profoundly hearing loss. I find your blog so helpful – Thank you!
I see both sides. I was born moderately hard-of-hearing and wore hearing aids at the age of 18 months. I had two older siblings who were born hard-of-hearing so my hearing loss was caught early. This was the 1960s.
We got auditory training in our pre-school years. They were mainstreamed early while I was still taught in a self-contained classroom with other deaf kids. I learned sign but didn’t use it at home. My parents were told not to learn sign to make us talk. I was not mainstreamed till I was in 8th grade and it’s been a struggle academically since.
Since there were three of us with hearing loss, family get-togethers were fine. If we didn’t understand, it was repeated, slower than the first time around.
I am happy to know sign so I can communicate with deaf people. I do have 2 CIs now and I have a hearing family. If I don’t understand something, my kids fingerspell or sign the few words that they do know.
With my family, sign is a back-up for me. I can’t get everything. It fills in the blanks.
I do want to point out that there are many Spanish or other kind of family growing up in America and the Spanish/Mexican kids speak Spanish with their parents and family and have to go to school and use ENGLISH. Is that any different??
I am shocked that a professional, who cousels families, has such a bias. There is no one size fits all for children with hearing loss. It is clear to me that you have not had experience with any other child besides your own. I caution you in assuming that your experience will be the same experience that others will have.
This article was brought to my attention by my colleague. As a deaf psychologist, I must say that I am saddened by the message you portrayed in your article. I have a profound hearing loss and grew up in an era when cochlear implants were not available. My parents chose to use sign language with me because it became very clear during my elementary school years that speech therapy was not a good fit. I am now a successful psychologist who does not have the barriers that you indicated in your article. While I understand (and respect) why parents choose to not utilize sign language as their primary mode of communication with their child, I do not think it is accurate for you to make a professional judgement regarding language acquisition since that is not your area of expertise. It is clear that you do not have much working experience with deaf/hard of hearing children who are successful in utilizing sign language in their daily routine. I strongly believe that the key to a child’s success as an adult is the willingness and perserverance of the parent(s), regardless of what languages are being used in the home. Rather than encouraging parents to not use sign language, I hope that you will encourage parents to be open-minded and explore all options that are available out there for their beautiful child.
It was brought to my attention that you had decided not to post my colleague’s comment for this article. I hope that you are willing to be open-minded and allow your website to become an area where professionals and parents can offer both sides to the story and allow your readers to make unbiased decisions about the message you portray in your writing. I hope to see my comment posted. Thank you.
Is Greek the ONLY way that child will have access to language for the first year or more of his/her life? Even with CIs and hearing aids incidental language learning or failproof access to spoken language is not always accomplished.
Kind of a bad analogy, imo.
The importance of ASL (or another sign language if outside the US) is that it creates immediate access to language. While developing spoken English is a goal for many families (and that’s fine!) sign language does not inhibit the development of spoken English, actually several studies have shown the opposite since it is easier to develop speech if you already have a first language and meaning attached to it.
I know several signing deaf kids who are extremely successful and doing well. On grade level, advanced language skills, they play sports and are involved in activities… etc. Some of them have CIs or hearing aids and speak as well as sign, others do not.
There’s nothing wrong with being bilingual. There’s nothing wrong with using ASL and spoken English. Some oral deaf kids become oral deaf adults, others struggle with their education, social life, and identity/self esteem and eventually try to learn sign. But like with any language, it is harder to obtain fluency in a language later in life.
And there are still oral deaf kids who don’t do well and then are sent to learn sign at the age of 5 or 6 with little to no language base. The amount of kids that this happens to may have decreased from years ago, but it is not good. ASL should not be the “backup” or the “we’ll do that if s/he needs it” because often by then it’s too late. The window for learning language closes around 5, and is locked by 12 and not having skills in language affects literacy which then affects education which then affects the rest of their life.
I agree with some other posters that this article shows some bias, as well as lack of information.
Absolutely selfish. How parents can deny their deaf/hoh child an early foundation in language skills, that will make it EASIER for them to learn English later on, is unfathomable to me. Those first couple of years are absolutely vital to language development.
You do not have to be incredibly fluent to teach your infant basic words. You want your kid to learn to speak English later? Fine. Make it easier on them by learning a bit of a “hard” language yourself first! I promise you, learning a bit of sign language yourself is NOT harder than learning spoken English is for a deaf child.
Your deaf kid is never, ever going to be normal, even with a CI. Lipreading, at best, catches 30% of spoken language. Add a CI to the mix and, in ideal sound environments (which are rare), your child may catch 80% -sh if they’re lucky. A TON of communication with hearing people will always be guesswork — using context to fill in the blanks. Why make this harder by stealing away their formative foundation in language?
Ignoring the fundamental issue that lies in comparing the experiences of a child brought up with a foreign language in an English-speaking environment to that of a child learning sign language in an English-speaking environment…
You have given an opinion based on generalized details that have no credible grounding and are recommending that each and every individual should avoid a certain method simply because you feel it will lead to a single result.
To rule out one option just on the basis of a possibility of challenges is the single most selfish, unbelievable thing I have ever read.
YES; Learning sign language can turn out to be an amazing experience for the family, the child, their friends, and the community.
YES; Resources, friends, families, and endless amounts of help are available no matter what you choose.
YES; A child can be successful with exclusively sign language, or with a combination of both.
But here is a fact: Children who are born deaf and are forced to try to learn in an oral fashion will, in the face of the failures they face by that method, instinctively seek out a means of communication by the only means they can determine how; their hands and body. Pantomime, at a low level, but a means of communication nonetheless.
You DO NOT EVER take away a possibility for a child to succeed at. Whether it be oral, sign language, PSE, SEE, or any other style to get a child to learn… TRY THEM. Each and every child is different, and to claim that any one of these is unhelpful is a claim made out of fear and ignorance. If sign language was the failure that you’re touting it as, Gallaudet University would not exist.
Stop destroying families and start helping them.
I guess I just have to say – if that is what worked for your family – then Awesome! You did the right thing! My child is profoundly deaf – his cochlea’s never finished developing (Mondini Dysplasia). Even with a CI, he has ZERO access to sound at this time. We went to an Air Show last year, an F-18 fly blew, nearly breaking the sound barrier, he didn’t even flinch. Oral language is just flat out not an option for us if we want to have a healthy happy kid! The best part is that he is a twin – his brother has a uni-lateral profound loss and is Oral. But we all sign. The cool thing that we have seen is that they crave the relationship with each other, so they have been picking up sign at an even greater pace than us! There are frustrations – no doubt, but I highly doubt those frustrations are any worse than they would be trying to teach your deaf child to speak.
Flat out, I think it is irresponsible to proclaim a “best-practices” method here to families with deaf/HoH children. The fact is, you just have to figure out what is best for your child, best for your family. And also realizing that sometimes what is best for your child isn’t always the easiest thing to do – like learn a manual language.
PARENTS – DO WHAT IS RIGHT FOR YOUR CHILD – PERIOD!
As a child who was born hearing and with severe ear infections became severely hearing impaired, or as I like to say Hard of Hearing or Deaf. I was forced to speak the spoken language, but I was also lucky to have parents that would put me in a deaf class in the mainstream schools, so I could still speak and learn sign language. My mother learned how to sign, my father refused, and yet I can communicate with them. Now….I wear a hearing aid and do not believe in CI due to the invasion it includes and it is NOT a 100% guarantee that it will work or even help the child, and I really hate it when Doctors says its 100% when in fact it is not, but wearing a hearing aid, knowing how to speak and knowing sign language, I STILL do not feel 100% part of the hearing world or 100% part of the deaf world. When I go to get togethers with hearing people, I am a stranger, no matter what. I can only get 30-40% of the conversation, and its very embarrassing to ask them to repeat themselves, but I have to. When I am with the deaf people, I feel so involved, because I can actually understand them much better than the spoken language. The Sign language is such a beautiful language, because its not a spoken language, but a flight of hands and fingers, along with body language and facial expressions. Think of us as a Mime but with a language of our own. I have a 7 month old son myself, who is hearing, and I am teaching him both spoken and sign. So he can still speak with his friends, and still be able to speak with his mother. Parents who have deaf children, yes should do what is best for your child, but I strongly suggest you look into EVERY option and strongly suggest taking up sign language as well. You will find it is such a beautiful language with a strong culture behind it. It should never be a forbidden language. Afterall would you forbid your child to learn Italian, or Spanish, or even French, just because you don’t know it yourself?
I think you people are missing the point the author was attempting to make. Nowhere does she imply that teaching your child sign language is a bad thing. She even states that it is absolutely necessary in some instances, and considering each child’s needs are different, so will be their intervention plan. What she was attempting to get across in this blog post (in my opinion) was how IMPORTANT and IMPERATIVE that once parents get a diagnosis of hearing loss in their child, to not immediately believe that their child won’t ever learn to speak. Speech and language skills play such an immense role in all other areas of development–if a speech therapy intervention plan isn’t at least attempted during the most critical years of early intervention, the success rate for your child to catch up with their typically-developing peers will plummet. I don’t believe the author is bashing sign language, or the use of sign language along with speech therapy. I think she made a very valid point, and one that I attempt to explain to people that just don’t get it. I am criticized by many for having my son’s (with mild sloping to severe sensorineural hearing loss) main focus be on his speech. In less than a year, he has gone from being a child who didn’t even say “Mommy” to saying new things everyday including two-and-three word phrases. This is all thanks to his dedicated team, both his speech and occupational therapist whom have made a huge difference in our lives. If I had given up on speech altogether and just went with sign language, he would be just as if not even more frustrated considering everyone around him communicates by speaking. His self-esteem has gone through the roof as well. There was a time before he began working with his therapists now, when I relied mainly on baby signs and pictures to communicate with him. This only helped but so much, he would attempt to speak to me but just couldn’t get the words out. How frustrating for him!! There is nothing wrong with sign language, and it is an effective tool for some. But isn’t our main goal (if applicable based on your child’s situation) to teach our children that they, too, can communicate in an effective manner with spoken speech regardless of their disability? They have to work much harder, but I believe it pays off in the end. And if spoken language simply will not work for them, hey, at least you tried. It’s the giving up without attempting some sort of speech and language program simply because you believe your child can’t ever do it. I want to do all the things with my son that the author mentioned she wanted to do with her child. And one at a time, we’re starting to be able to. When about 8 months ago I never thought it to be possible. The problem is that so many parents give up before even getting started, thinking that it will never help their child. Again, I’m not knocking sign language and neither is the author. She is obviously a big advocate for early intervention services, especially speech therapy for a hearing-impaired child and I’m in full agreeance with her.