“You lost WHAT?!?! Handling the loss of hearing hardware without losing your mind
If I had to identify the worst moments in my experience parenting a child with hearing loss, they must be the day the FM boot fell off of his hearing aid during a little league baseball game. This part was already a replacement so it was not insured. I’ll get sick even now if I try to think about how much it cost to replace. It fell off somewhere on the field so my husband set out to find it. He searched the ground for two hours and came home exhausted and demoralized. I am not sure why – but I set out next to try to find this little piece of plastic and metal hidden somewhere in an enormous grassy field. I wish that I had thought of this amazing way to handle this disappointment and aggravation back then:
Plan for parts to get lost. They just will. But plan a celebration to accompany (and perhaps soften the blow) of this frustrating situation! If this loss means you are now in financial ruin: reward yourself with a long hot bath and lights out at 8pm! Or anything wonderful for yourself that you can look forward to. If replacing this item will not totally ruin your family’s budget: hire a sitter and go out to dinner at a restaurant you have been wanting to try, catch a movie, get an ice cream cone, do something that feels extravagant and celebrate your initiation into the selective group of parents of children with hearing loss! This way, when it happens, it will not feel as devastating.
Buy insurance. Ask the audiologist about insurance policies for the hardware you buy. If you cannot make arrangements this way, call your insurance agent and ask about adding these things to your homeowners or renters policy. This can help take some of the pain (to your pocketbook) out of the loss and can help give you some peace of mind.
Make your child understand that you are not glad about this but don’t make her crazy. Kids can feel very guilty when something gets lost, even if they were not really negligent. If kids know that money is tight, they can feel very badly about losing their hearing hardware. Here is where you earn that parenting award: don’t let your child see you get so upset. Don’t cry or swear in front of your child, save it for later if you need to. Reassure your child that this is a part of life, stuff gets lost or ruined and as I learned from a wise woman “Don’t cry over anything that can’t cry over you.” Even if you are very concerned, tell your child that it will be okay and they don’t need to worry. It is not easy for your child to have a hearing loss – no need to make it feel harder.
Offer a reward. If your child’s hearing hardware got lost in a public place, hang some signs and offer a reward for anyone who finds it. If its lost in a school or school yard, $25 can be very motivating to school-aged children! If they can find it, you don’t have to buy a new one.
Keep things in perspective. If your preschooler asked to take a $5,000 camera to preschool with him – would you let him? Are you kidding?! But this is what you have done with your child’s hearing hardware. You have put many thousands of dollars/euros/shekels on a little kid and sent them out the door! Bless your good fortune that we live in a time of such advanced technology that can really help our children. But recognize the absurdity of how much valuable property your young child is walking around with.
Laugh a little. I think Sandra Boynton wrote “One Shoe Blues” for my family! See if you can identify with B.B. King’s situation too: <
One Shoe Blues starring B.B. King from Sandra Boynton on Vimeo.
>http://vimeo.com/6783409.
Tags: children, cochlear implant, coping with stress, deaf, hearing aids, hearing loss, lost hardware, parenting, talking to your child
1. It might be smart to take photos of the hearing hardware to put pictures in one’s “lost” posters.
2. Many deaf kids and adults do not feel “[it is hard] to have a hearing loss.” Depends on their family’s and school’s attitude, I would think, and if they are allowed to know other deaf people so they don’t feel like freaks.
I know children with hearing loss who do not feel like freaks but still feel that their because of the restrictions of technology (not getting wet, static) and speech therapy, it feels hard sometimes to have a hearing loss. Kids who have a very healthy sense of positive self-esteem may still feel that it is hard sometimes.
Please include captioning on these videos…would be great for all of us who need them to be included. Keep up the good work!
Lauren/CCAC